The subject of marriage, same sex marriage, homosexuality, righteousness, and sin are no different than anything else I write about and must be held up and viewed through the lens of Scripture.
I believe the Bible to be the infallible, inerrant word of God from cover to cover. The vast majority of what I write on this blog are from the perspective of my Christian worldview and center on what I believe to be true about God, Scripture, life and the fallen world we live in.
Same sex marriage: the law of the land
The American Supreme Court appears to have made same sex marriage the law of the land, but let’s get one thing out of the way: neither the U.S. Constitution nor the court has ever defined marriage. The court does not have the authority to redefine marriage, and the court has most certainly overstepped it’s Constitutional authority in it’s attempt to do so.
Because marriage is not found in the Constitution, the 14th Amendment does not allow the Court the authority to redefine marriage. The 10th Amendment clearly states, “the powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.”
Marriage is not mandated or protected by the U.S. Constitution. This issue clearly belongs in the hands and the votes of the people and the states.
The loud minority and a rogue court
The court may define and redefine tax codes and insurance laws and can debate civil unions all day long. However, marriage by definition is a covenant between a man and a woman. Period. There is a very loud minority that would like to say otherwise, but truth is truth, and truth will not change simply because the desires of a loud minority or the actions of a rogue court wish it to.
Tragically, the most unintended consequence of this ruling may actually fall on the Supreme Court itself in the long run because by overstepping it’s Constitutional authority, the Court is subverting it’s own validity. This will have huge implications and monumental consequences in future unrelated cases.
The imperfect court
The Supreme Court is not God, neither is the court infallible. In 1857 for example, the Supreme Court ruled in Dred Scott vs. Sandford that “African Americans, whether enslaved or free, could not be American citizens and therefore had no standing to sue in federal court,[2][3] and that the federal government had no power to regulate slavery in the federal territories acquired after the creation of the United States.”
The Court once again showed it’s fallacy in 1896, when in Plessy vs. Ferguson, by an astonishing 7 to 1 vote, the United States Supreme Court “upheld the constitutionality of state laws requiring racial segregation in public facilities under the doctrine of “separate but equal“.[1]
Clearly even the Supreme Court gets stuff dead wrong sometimes. But the courts are not the only ones at fault in this historical moment.
The church and our arrival at same sex marriage
The church has failed marriage. Especially over the last 50 years, the church at large has seriously dropped the ball on the institution of marriage. By permitting non-believers to enter the covenant relationship of marriage within the church without being a part of the church, we’ve left the door wide open.
We don’t baptize or administer the Sacrament of communion to non-believers, so why do we marry non-believers within the walls of the church?
Perhaps the root issue is separation of church and state, but historically in America the reality has been a non-separation. This gave the church a responsibility to perform marriages within the context of Scripture. Instead of thorough premarital counseling and ensuring God’s calling for a couple, the church became the place to hold massive weddings and in some cases those services became a stream of revenue.
The church’s desire to be socially acceptable leads to theological compromise.
Unrepentant divorce and remarriage is another area in which the church has utterly failed. We haven’t adhered to a Biblical standard on this subject. Of course, there are marriages that need to come to an end, but the church has swapped Biblical teaching on divorce for social comfort to avoid discipline and difficult conversations within the church.
Perhaps the church is afraid of turning people away, or of having hard conversations, or we are simply reluctant to lose numbers. Whatever the case, this is another category of marriage where the church has become Scripturally lazy.
The church’s desire to be socially acceptable will only lead to a lack of theological conviction, and that is called compromise.
Sin is sin
The Bible teaches that homosexuality is sin. It doesn’t matter how one tries to twist, reinterpret, or ignore the Bible on this matter. God’s word is very clear.
Society used to tell us it’s a lifestyle. Many lifestyle choices come attached with sin. The abuse of alcohol is a sinful lifestyle. Drug addiction is a sinful lifestyle that produces a boatload of sin.
Now we’re told that homosexuality isn’t so much a lifestyle as it is a non-choice.
However, sometime during the last 20 years, a social blinder has been pulled over the eyes of the church that has gained serious momentum in the last decade. The compromise society has forced onto many Christians is the inability to classify sin as sin.
When we allow certain sins to live in categories of their own, we’ve systematically created an acceptance of them. Accepting “sin categories” compromises Scripture and creates doctrine apart from God, separating ourselves from the true word of God and the teaching of Jesus Christ.
Despite the political correctness of the day, we need to classify sin as sin, and we need to do so in a compassionate, loving way. Pastor and author Warren Wiersbe says it this way, “Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.”
How should Christians respond to same sex marriage?
We should not respond in despair, anger, hopelessness or in defeat (1 Peter 2:1). This world and all that is in it are temporary things (Colossians 3:2).
We will be persecuted for our faith (John 15:18-19; 2 Timothy 3:12) but we must meet that with thanksgiving, prayer, and love (Matthew 5:10-12; 2 Corinthians 12:10).
Therefore we should:
- Pray for our country, our leaders, officials and for our people.
- Pray for churches, for church leaders and for Christians across America that we would be faithful to the teaching of God’s word.
- Speak the truth in a respectful, loving way.
- Stand firm in the truth of God’s word, not allowing man’s law to redefine God’s word.
- Don’t allow any particular sin a category of it’s own. This causes the entire church to stumble.
- Commit to model to the world around us and to teach by example the beauty of loving Biblical marriages.
- Love your neighbor, and pray without ceasing.
No matter what the world does, followers of Christ are to follow Christ. I know that it’s difficult, and I get that this is an absolutely divisive issue. But it doesn’t have to be. We must be people of mercy and grace and that is how we should respond to those who are without Jesus. And towards those who call themselves Christians, we need to uphold God’s word. We need to make disciples and teach them.
The Good News of Jesus is still the answer.
Dear Mr. Whitehead,
I just read Same Sex Marriage and 7 Ways Christians Should Respond. I have a question that is not covered in the 7 ways Christians should respond.
You see my step-daughter is a lesbian (she told us this about 7 years ago) and announced a couple of months ago that she is going to be entering into a same sex marriage with her partner. I became a born again Christian recently (January 2020) and as a born again Christian I KNOW that her lifestyle and same sex marriage is NOT the Will of God. My husband on the other hand is not a Christian and is fine with all of this. Also he is not at all happy that I have become a born again Christian. Also there are a lot of homosexual people in his family both male and female.
Could you per chance give me some direction on how I should be responding to all of this. I do not want to attend because then I feel it will show that I am supportive of this when I am absolutely not at all supportive of any of this. I want to tell her in a loving way my feelings and share the gospel with her but this will definitely cause problems in my already troubled marriage to her father. Should I just tell her and face what I know WILL be backlash not only from her but also from her father (my husband) and his whole family. It may even be grounds for divorce as far as my husband will be concerned. He can not stand for me to even talk about my faith. I do not know if my heart will be able to handle any of that as I already have a heart condition and stress of course makes it worse but at the same time I KNOW that God will see me thru all of the backlash this will cause. I am still hesitant though to say anything to my step-daughter, and I know that this is a sin.
I have tried to share the gospel with my husband but he wants nothing to do with it. I am at a loss as to how to go forward with all of this.
Please advise, Kind Regards
Mrs. Jackson
Hi Mrs. Jackson, thank you for reaching out. I have been considering your message for several days and would like to respond by email if that is ok for you. Also, you can use my contact form any time and reach me directly. Definitely praying for you and this situation!
I’ve written a rather lengthy and personal reply after spending time in prayer and thought concerning your situation, but sadly the email address you entered in my form returns as “no such user.”
I’ll just conclude by saying I hope you’re in prayer and in counsel with the pastors and/or elders in your church or faith community. Blessings to you!
I understand this woman’s dilemma. I have many gay friends and some of them are saved and attend church weekly. I love them and I don’t get into the debate over whether or not it’s right or wrong. I always say that Christ died for us all.
I believe it’s important to accept the fact that you can’t change anyone’s belief in gay marriage or homosexuality. Thats not our place to debate the issue. Our job as Christians is to tell others of Christ love for them and salvation. After that, it is up to the individuals to decide whether or not they should continue in their lifestyle.
My saves gay friends wanted me to agree that homosexuality wasn’t a sin. I told them I couldn’t say that it wasn’t a sin, but I wasn’t their judge or jury. I also said that I wasn’t free of sin either but they didn’t like my response.
My advice to this lady is to show love to everyone in her family regardless of their lifestyles and to just reiterate the love of Jesus. Leave the convictions to the Holy Spirit and if they ask you if its a sin, just be honest and tell them you believe it is but we are all sinners. Don’t let them think they have to give up their lifestyle to accept Jesus. Thats putting the cart before the horse. Remember, they may get saved and still be in gay relationships but that’s for the Lord to deal with.
Well said, Mark. Really good points you’ve made and you seem to handle the subject with a measure of grace and truth. That’s what we need more of in the church, especially in the Western world. I recall 30 years ago after receiving Christ that sin in my life didn’t just go away, it still had to be dealt with and overcome. Many of us try to do that in our own power rather than in the power of the Holy Spirit, but sanctification is a process.
I also try to handle the subject of homosexuality and same sex marriage with a heavy measure of grace, yet with the love of the truth. It almost never goes well for me, either. People want to put one foot in Christ and keep one foot in the world and it just doesn’t work like that. The command of Christ is to deny our self, pick up our cross, and follow. The world doesn’t like any of that.
Let’s just continue pressing into sharing the good news of Chris while offering grace, love, and truth instead of trying to hold an unbelieving, unrepentant world to a standard they haven’t reached yet.