Note: This post was originally published on June 29, 2015, and has been updated in 2025 to provide fresh insights and relevant guidance for today’s context while maintaining its Biblical foundation. While cultural conversations continue to evolve, our commitment to Biblical truth expressed with grace remains unchanged.
As with every topic I address, the subjects of marriage, same sex marriage, and homosexuality must be viewed through the lens of Scripture. These are deeply personal issues that affect real people, which is why we must approach them with both truth and grace, firmly rooted in God’s love.
I believe the Bible is God’s infallible and inerrant word. This conviction shapes my understanding of marriage, relationships, and human sexuality. As we explore this sensitive topic together, my goal is to help us understand God’s design while maintaining a heart of compassion for all people.
My perspective comes from a Christian worldview, grounded in Biblical truth and focused on how we can respond in ways that honor both God and our neighbors.
Same Sex Marriage: Legal and Biblical Perspectives
In 2015, the Supreme Court’s Obergefell v. Hodges decision legally recognized same-sex marriage throughout the United States. While this ruling changed our nation’s legal landscape, it’s important to understand that civil law and God’s design for marriage are two distinct matters.
From a Biblical perspective, marriage was established by God at creation as a covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24). No human institution – whether government, court, or culture – has the authority to redefine what God has ordained.
As Christians, we find ourselves navigating between two realities: living under civil laws that may conflict with Biblical teaching, while remaining faithful to God’s unchanging truth. This tension isn’t new – believers throughout history have faced similar challenges in various cultures and contexts.
God’s Design for Marriage in a Changing Culture
While cultural definitions of marriage may shift, God’s design remains unchanged. From Genesis to Revelation, Scripture consistently presents marriage as a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, reflecting Christ’s relationship with His church (Ephesians 5:31-32).
As our society embraces different views of marriage, Christians might feel increasingly at odds with the culture around them. This tension isn’t surprising – Jesus told us we would be “in the world but not of it” (John 17:14-16). Our challenge isn’t to win cultural debates but to faithfully represent God’s truth and love to a world that desperately needs both.
It’s crucial to remember that while we stand firm on Biblical truth, we’re called to do so with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). Our response should reflect Christ’s character – full of both grace and truth (John 1:14).
Standing Firm in Truth While Walking in Love
As Christians, we answer to a higher authority than any earthly institution. Throughout history, God’s people have had to navigate between civil laws and God’s commands – from Daniel in Babylon to the early church under Rome. These examples remind us that our primary allegiance must always be to God’s truth.
However, this doesn’t mean we should adopt an adversarial stance toward our society. Jesus calls us to be “salt and light” (Matthew 5:13-16), influencing our culture through love, truth, and good works. We’re called to honor governing authorities (Romans 13:1-7) while ultimately submitting to God’s authority (Acts 5:29).
The challenge for today’s Christians isn’t just about holding to Biblical truth – it’s about how we hold and share that truth. Are we known more for what we’re against, or for the love of Christ working through us? Do we reflect the heart of Jesus, who while never compromising truth, showed remarkable compassion to those society rejected?
The Church’s Call to Restore Biblical Marriage
As we address same-sex marriage, we must honestly examine how the Christian church has stewarded God’s design for marriage. Our current cultural challenges didn’t emerge in a vacuum – they reflect, in part, the church’s own departure from Biblical marriage principles.
Consider how we’ve often treated marriage more as a cultural ceremony than a sacred covenant. While the church rightly celebrates marriage, we sometimes prioritize the event over the Biblical foundation it represents. As Paul reminds us, marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s relationship with His church (Ephesians 5:31-32).
Several key areas need prayerful attention:
1. Marriage Preparation
- We’re called to ensure couples understand God’s design for marriage
- Premarital counseling should focus on Biblical principles, not just practical advice
- The church must clearly teach the covenant nature of marriage
2. Biblical Standards
- We need to lovingly uphold Biblical teaching on marriage and divorce
- While showing grace to those who struggle, we must not compromise truth
- Difficult conversations about marriage and divorce require both truth and love
3. Cultural Pressure
- The temptation to prioritize social acceptance over Biblical truth isn’t new
- We’re called to minister with grace while maintaining Biblical conviction
- Our goal isn’t to be popular but to be faithful
The path forward isn’t to point fingers but to recommit ourselves to God’s design for marriage. This means teaching Biblical truth with clarity and compassion, supporting couples in building strong marriages, and demonstrating Christ’s love to all people – including those who disagree with us.
Biblical Truth and God’s Grace
Scripture speaks clearly about God’s design for human sexuality, and as followers of Christ, we’re called to uphold Biblical truth. At the same time, we must remember that every person is created in God’s image and deeply loved by Him.
The challenge isn’t whether to speak truth or show love – we’re called to do both. As Warren Wiersbe wisely noted,
“Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.”
Consider these Biblical principles:
1. God’s Standard
- Scripture consistently presents God’s design for sexuality within marriage between one man and one woman
- This standard reflects God’s character and His best for humanity
- Like all Biblical standards, it flows from God’s love for His creation
2. Universal Human Experience
- All of us fall short of God’s perfect standard (Romans 3:23)
- Each person faces unique struggles and temptations
- No sin is beyond God’s grace and power to transform
3. Christ’s Example
- Jesus never compromised truth, yet showed remarkable compassion
- He confronted sin while offering hope and restoration
- He calls us to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15)
As Christians, we must resist the tendency to either water down Biblical truth or forget Christ’s command to love. Our role isn’t to condemn but to point people to the transforming power of the gospel, which offers both truth and grace, both conviction and hope.
7 Christ-Centered Ways to Respond
As followers of Christ, our response to cultural changes should always reflect His character. Remember Jesus’ words:
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
Here are 7 Biblical ways to respond:
1. Pray Faithfully
- For our nation and its leaders (1 Timothy 2:1-2)
- For wisdom and discernment in our responses
- For the Holy Spirit’s guidance in difficult conversations
2. Stand Firm in Truth
- Hold to Biblical teaching with conviction
- Study Scripture diligently to understand God’s character
- Remember that God’s truth doesn’t change with cultural shifts
3. Speak with Grace
- Share truth with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15)
- Focus on pointing people to Jesus
- Remember we’re called to be ambassadors of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:20)
4. Model Biblical Marriage
- Demonstrate God’s design through healthy marriages
- Invest in strengthening our own marriages
- Support other couples in building Christ-centered relationships
5. Show Christ’s Love
- Treat everyone with dignity as image-bearers of God
- Build genuine relationships with those who disagree
- Let your actions demonstrate Christ’s compassion
6. Support Your Church
- Pray for church leaders as they navigate these issues
- Participate in building strong church families
- Help create environments where truth and grace flourish
7. Share the Gospel
- Remember that Jesus is the answer to every human need
- Focus on introducing people to Christ
- Trust the Holy Spirit to transform lives
Remember: Our ultimate goal isn’t to win arguments but to show people Jesus. As we navigate these challenging times, let’s keep our eyes fixed on Christ, knowing that He alone can transform hearts and lives.
The gospel remains our hope and message. When we lead with love while standing firm in truth, we reflect Christ to a world that desperately needs Him. As Paul reminds us,
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Colossians 4:6
How are you navigating these challenging conversations in your own life and community? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
- What Biblical principles have helped guide your response to this issue?
- How do you balance truth and grace in difficult conversations?
- What questions do you still wrestle with on this topic?
Share your insights in the comments below. Let’s learn from each other while maintaining a spirit of grace and truth.
Remember, if you found this discussion helpful, consider sharing it with others who might benefit from a Biblical perspective on this topic.
Dear Mr. Whitehead,
I just read Same Sex Marriage and 7 Ways Christians Should Respond. I have a question that is not covered in the 7 ways Christians should respond.
You see my step-daughter is a lesbian (she told us this about 7 years ago) and announced a couple of months ago that she is going to be entering into a same sex marriage with her partner. I became a born again Christian recently (January 2020) and as a born again Christian I KNOW that her lifestyle and same sex marriage is NOT the Will of God. My husband on the other hand is not a Christian and is fine with all of this. Also he is not at all happy that I have become a born again Christian. Also there are a lot of homosexual people in his family both male and female.
Could you per chance give me some direction on how I should be responding to all of this. I do not want to attend because then I feel it will show that I am supportive of this when I am absolutely not at all supportive of any of this. I want to tell her in a loving way my feelings and share the gospel with her but this will definitely cause problems in my already troubled marriage to her father. Should I just tell her and face what I know WILL be backlash not only from her but also from her father (my husband) and his whole family. It may even be grounds for divorce as far as my husband will be concerned. He can not stand for me to even talk about my faith. I do not know if my heart will be able to handle any of that as I already have a heart condition and stress of course makes it worse but at the same time I KNOW that God will see me thru all of the backlash this will cause. I am still hesitant though to say anything to my step-daughter, and I know that this is a sin.
I have tried to share the gospel with my husband but he wants nothing to do with it. I am at a loss as to how to go forward with all of this.
Please advise, Kind Regards
Mrs. Jackson
Hi Mrs. Jackson, thank you for reaching out. I have been considering your message for several days and would like to respond by email if that is ok for you. Also, you can use my contact form any time and reach me directly. Definitely praying for you and this situation!
I’ve written a rather lengthy and personal reply after spending time in prayer and thought concerning your situation, but sadly the email address you entered in my form returns as “no such user.”
I’ll just conclude by saying I hope you’re in prayer and in counsel with the pastors and/or elders in your church or faith community. Blessings to you!
I understand this woman’s dilemma. I have many gay friends and some of them are saved and attend church weekly. I love them and I don’t get into the debate over whether or not it’s right or wrong. I always say that Christ died for us all.
I believe it’s important to accept the fact that you can’t change anyone’s belief in gay marriage or homosexuality. Thats not our place to debate the issue. Our job as Christians is to tell others of Christ love for them and salvation. After that, it is up to the individuals to decide whether or not they should continue in their lifestyle.
My saves gay friends wanted me to agree that homosexuality wasn’t a sin. I told them I couldn’t say that it wasn’t a sin, but I wasn’t their judge or jury. I also said that I wasn’t free of sin either but they didn’t like my response.
My advice to this lady is to show love to everyone in her family regardless of their lifestyles and to just reiterate the love of Jesus. Leave the convictions to the Holy Spirit and if they ask you if its a sin, just be honest and tell them you believe it is but we are all sinners. Don’t let them think they have to give up their lifestyle to accept Jesus. Thats putting the cart before the horse. Remember, they may get saved and still be in gay relationships but that’s for the Lord to deal with.
Well said, Mark. Really good points you’ve made and you seem to handle the subject with a measure of grace and truth. That’s what we need more of in the church, especially in the Western world. I recall 30 years ago after receiving Christ that sin in my life didn’t just go away, it still had to be dealt with and overcome. Many of us try to do that in our own power rather than in the power of the Holy Spirit, but sanctification is a process.
I also try to handle the subject of homosexuality and same sex marriage with a heavy measure of grace, yet with the love of the truth. It almost never goes well for me, either. People want to put one foot in Christ and keep one foot in the world and it just doesn’t work like that. The command of Christ is to deny our self, pick up our cross, and follow. The world doesn’t like any of that.
Let’s just continue pressing into sharing the good news of Chris while offering grace, love, and truth instead of trying to hold an unbelieving, unrepentant world to a standard they haven’t reached yet.