Greek Words for Love: Understanding 6 Types of Love in the Bible

Note: This post was originally published on February 14, 2017, and has been updated in 2025 to provide fresh insights and relevant guidance for today’s context while maintaining its Biblical foundation.

Understanding Love Beyond English

If you search for the word ‘love’ today, you’ll find over 85,000 quotes on Goodreads alone, countless songs, and endless philosophies about what love means.

Love even has its own saint and dedicated holiday – if you’re curious about the remarkable story behind Valentine’s Day, you can discover how St. Valentine demonstrated sacrificial love. Yet in English, we’re limited to one word – ‘love’ – to describe this complex emotion.

The ancient Greeks, however, had a richer vocabulary for love, using different words to capture its various dimensions. Understanding these distinctions can transform how we view and practice love in our daily lives.

Biblical Types of Love

Agape Love: God’s Unconditional Love

Agape represents a self-denying, no-strings-attached, sacrificial type of love. This is how God loves you, and it’s the kind of love Jesus demonstrated on the cross. Agape isn’t just a feeling or emotion – it’s an act.

Consider this modern example: If your young child was cornered by the most venomous snake on earth, and the only way to save your kid is to insert yourself between them, you’d do it – even knowing the snake’s bite means certain death. That’s agape love in action.

The ultimate example of agape appears in John 3:16:

‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.’

You can’t earn agape love, you can’t win it, and you cannot influence it. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make it increase or decrease. You can only accept it or reject it.

Phileo Love: Deep Brotherly Affection

Phileo represents one of the two primary types of love taught in the Bible. This deep, brotherly love goes far beyond casual friendship – it’s where we get Philadelphia’s nickname, ‘The City of Brotherly Love.’

The Bible provides powerful examples of phileo in action. When Jesus wept at Lazarus’s death (John 11:35-36), the witnesses noted, ‘See how much he loved him!’ Similarly, the friendship between David and Jonathan demonstrates phileo’s depth:

‘After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David’. (1 Samuel 18:1)

Modern Application:

• In church communities: Phileo should characterize relationships between believers
• In friendships: True phileo involves commitment and loyalty, as shown when ‘Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself’ (1 Samuel 18:3)
• In daily life: Practicing phileo means moving beyond surface-level connections to deep, meaningful relationships

Building Deep Phileo Friendships

In today’s fast-paced world, cultivating deep friendships takes work. Authentic relationship requires intentional effort. Just as Jesus made time for meaningful relationships, we too must prioritize presence in our friendships.

True phileo love flourishes when we follow Paul’s teaching in Romans 12:15 to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This involves being there for friends in both celebration and sorrow.

Proverbs 18:24 reminds us that while shallow friendships may fade, “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This kind of loyalty and honesty forms the foundation of phileo love. Additionally, when friends invest in spiritual growth together, they fulfill the wisdom of Proverbs 27:17:

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Other Ancient Greek Concepts of Love

Eros Love: Romantic and Physical Love

While eros was the Greek god of sexuality, this type of love represents more than just physical attraction. It encompasses the romantic and passionate dimensions of love that, when properly expressed, strengthen the bond between spouses.

Modern Application:

• Within marriage: Healthy expression of eros helps maintain emotional and physical intimacy
• Boundaries: Understanding proper contexts for eros helps maintain godly relationships
• Balance: Recognizing how eros complements other types of love, especially pragma

Biblical Perspective on Romantic Love

While our culture often reduces eros to mere physical attraction, the Bible presents a more complete and beautiful picture of romantic love, particularly in Song of Solomon. This poetic book celebrates the multifaceted nature of married love while maintaining proper boundaries. We see the depth of emotional intimacy expressed in Song of Solomon 2:16:

My beloved is mine and I am his. (Song of Solomon 2:16)

Physical attraction within marriage is affirmed, as evidenced by the bridegroom’s words in Song of Solomon 4:7: “You are altogether beautiful, my darling.” Yet the text also emphasizes proper timing, warning in Song of Solomon 8:4 to “not awaken love until it so desires.”

The culmination of this love is described in Song of Solomon 8:6-7, where love is portrayed as “strong as death” and more precious than wealth, demonstrating the profound commitment that should characterize romantic love.

Storge Love: Family Bonds

Storge (pronounced store-gae) represents the natural, protective love found within families, best illustrated between parents and children. This instinctive affection creates security and comfort within the family unit.

Modern Application:

• Nurturing family relationships
• Creating safe, supportive home environments
• Extending storge-like care to church family

Biblical Examples of Family Love

Scripture provides powerful examples of storge love through various family relationships. Consider Ruth’s remarkable dedication to her mother-in-law Naomi, declaring

Where you go I will go… your people will be my people and your God my God. (Ruth 1:16-17)

We also see Mary’s devoted love for Jesus, remaining at the cross during His darkest hour in John 19:25-27. The parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:20-24) beautifully illustrates a father’s unconditional love and forgiveness toward his wayward child.

Strengthening Family Bonds

To strengthen these family bonds in practical ways, start by creating meaningful family traditions. This might include regular family devotions, shared meals with intentional conversation, or special celebrations that become cherished memories. Practice active love daily through verbal appreciation, quality one-on-one time, and active listening.

Family unity grows stronger through regular prayer together, serving one other, practicing forgiveness, and maintaining open communication. Remember to establish healthy boundaries by respecting individual differences, balancing togetherness with personal space, and upholding family values while showing grace to one another. These practices create a nurturing environment where storge love can flourish naturally.

Pragma Love: Enduring Commitment

Pragma love develops over time, particularly within marriage relationships. Unlike the often-idealized notion of ‘falling in love,’ pragma represents ‘standing in love’ – a practical, enduring commitment that deepens through shared experiences. This love type demonstrates itself through devotion, understanding, and patience.

Modern Application:

• In marriage relationships: Pragma helps couples navigate challenges and grow stronger together
• In long-term friendships: Understanding that deep relationships require time and investment
• In family dynamics: Recognizing that love matures and changes over time

Cultivating Pragma in Long-term Relationships

Pragma love flourishes through consistent, intentional actions. This might look like maintaining date nights after decades of marriage, learning your partner’s evolving love language, or adapting to each other’s changing needs over time.

Small daily choices matter – like checking in with each other during busy days, expressing gratitude for routine tasks, and choosing to address conflicts with patience and understanding. As life brings changes – career shifts, health challenges, or empty nesting – pragma love helps couples adapt and grow stronger together rather than growing apart.

Ludus Love: Playful Affection

Ludus represents playful, child-like love. While the Romans used this word in reference to elementary education, in relationships it describes the joyful, light-hearted aspects of love. This includes the playful affection between friends and the flirtatious behavior between couples that keeps relationships fresh and engaging.

Modern Application:

• In friendships: Maintaining a spirit of fun and enjoyment
• In marriage: Keeping romance alive through playfulness
• In family life: Creating joyful moments and memories

Incorporating Healthy Ludus into Relationships

Playful ludus love adds joy and lightness to relationships. In marriage, this might mean leaving surprise notes for your spouse, planning spontaneous adventures, or sharing inside jokes. For families, it could involve game nights, silly traditions, or creative ways to make routine tasks fun.

Even in serious situations, appropriate humor and playfulness can help maintain emotional connection and reduce stress. The key is finding age-appropriate and situation-appropriate ways to keep relationships fresh and engaging without diminishing their depth or importance.

Practical Applications for Today

Understanding these six types of love – agape, phileo, eros, storge, pragma, and ludus – gives us a richer framework for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Here’s how to put this knowledge into practice:

Identifying Love Types in Your Relationships

Each relationship usually displays multiple types of love. A healthy marriage, for example, combines the unconditional acceptance of agape, the physical attraction of eros, the deep friendship of phileo, and the lasting commitment of pragma. Understanding which types of love are present – or missing – in your relationships can help you identify areas for growth.

Developing Different Types of Love

Just as a garden needs various types of care, different relationships need different expressions of love. In your marriage, you might need to balance the practical aspects of pragma with the playfulness of ludus.

In your friendships, focusing on developing phileo through shared experiences and honest conversations can deepen your connections. Within your family, strengthening storge love creates the security and acceptance everyone needs.

Finding Balance Among Love Types

No single type of love should dominate at the expense of others. When we understand these distinctions, we can be more intentional about expressing love appropriately in each relationship. For example, while eros belongs exclusively in marriage, agape and phileo can enrich all our relationships.

The goal isn’t to achieve perfect balance, but to ensure each relationship receives the types of love it needs to thrive.

Growing in Love: Moving Forward with Purpose

C.S. Lewis wisely noted that “to love is to be vulnerable.” This truth resonates even more deeply when we understand the various dimensions of love. Each type – whether it’s the sacrificial nature of agape, the deep friendship of phileo, the passion of eros, the family bonds of storge, the commitment of pragma, or the playfulness of ludus – requires us to open our hearts and risk being hurt.

Yet this vulnerability is precisely what makes love transformative. When we choose to love others in these various ways, we reflect something of God’s character. After all, He demonstrated the ultimate example of love by vulnerably sending His Son for us.

While we can’t perfectly replicate God’s agape love, we can grow in our capacity to love others more fully and intentionally.

As you move forward, consider:

• Which types of love do you need to develop in your relationships?
• Where might you need to be more vulnerable in showing love?
• How can you better receive and appreciate different expressions of love from others

Remember, love isn’t just something we fall into – it’s something we choose to develop and nurture. Understanding these six types of love gives us practical tools for building deeper, more meaningful relationships. While it may feel risky to love deeply, the rewards of authentic connection make it worth the risk.

Remember, authentic love is often the best we have to offer hurting people in a fallen world.